The Creative Process #16 - The Receding Storm

With my major project Hand Me Down submitted for IF Comp 2023, I was now at a loose end. I had blasted a lot of time and energy into the project, completing it. I rarely complete projects, so this was a great feeling. A dazed, exhausted, spent feeling, but a good one nonetheless.

In contrast to the last few months, this month’s creative output was just barely above idling.

The Review Game

Hand Me Down’s fate was now with the kindly judges of IF Comp. That is, anyone interested. Amongst a strong field of 75 games, it had to do its best to get any attention.

The way the judging works is that people are encouraged to spend two hours with the game, and then rate it. A number of people write public reviews. A clear strategy is to hit the games that are most intriguing (or short!) first. Only a few dedicated souls will review all 75 games, so you hope you’re in that first tranche.

My game is on an uphill battle in that regard. I estimated the game to take 90 minutes, maybe even the full two hours. I also honestly disclosed that the game has content warnings for terminal illness and divorce. Not quite your fun romp, at least from the surface. And the final hurdle is that it runs on two separate systems, Twine and TADS. I’m okay with these being obstacles, because I think I did a good job of the game itself.

All month I’ve continued with my mental model of the comp being like a high school dance. My game is all dolled up and waiting on the side, hoping for someone to take it for a dance. The only thing visible to me (apart from broad server logs) is reviews. At the end of the six weeks I’ll see some actual ratings and feedback, but the public reviews are all I have.

For the first two weeks, it felt like I was lagging far behind. People in the IF Forum keep a running tally of which games got how many reviews. I was (and I think still am) lagging behind the median number of reviews. It is, however, incredibly difficult to compete with compelling sells such as Dick McButts Gets Kicked In The Nuts. No really. You know what you’re in for with McButts (or so you think).

After a month of perhaps obsessively checking the forums, I’ve gotten 9 reviews. Last time I outlined my safety net for reviews, to make sure mean reviewers didn’t shatter me. All the reviews have been really kind, thoughtful and engaged with my crazy idea of a game. Maybe that’s indicative of final scores? Maybe it’s the opposite? Who knows?

I’ve grown less obsessed with the reviews. I cherish them all, but currently feel like it’s been given a fair reception, with some big positive feelings from some, and that’s awesome.

I’ve fixed a few egregious bugs. There are some edges I know I can sand off to improve things for everyone, but the rules say no additional content during judging. Earlier in the month I was very keen to have a big post-comp effort, improving the game. That’s decreased somewhat over time as I don’t want to break what good I’ve made to chase some mythical last few percentage points of approval. It would have been nice to supply players with a map, though.

One repeated problem in reviews has been disambiguation, which is a very gnarly problem that I don’t know how to address. If I give you ten notes, and you say READ NOTE, of course you’ll need to disambiguate. There’s only so many things you can do with paper, though, so disambiguating them clearly is hard. It is definitely a technique I want to improve on, given some of my future project plans.

Related to this, beta-testers and reviewers have given me an insight into a type of player I didn’t account for early enough. The ones who walk into a new room, blast out the double-barrelled shotgun of an EXAMINE ALL and GET ALL, and see what falls their way. Utterly legitimate way to play, but they soon found architectural objects and abstract concepts that I hadn’t nailed to the floor. Pretty embarrassing to let someone steal a ray of sunshine.

Paying it Back

I’ve thanked every reviewer thus far, and have focussed on gratitude. There’s been a few rare points where I disagree with or am confused by a reviewer, but there’s nothing to be gained from investing into that.

I had intended on making a big effort to rate and review games, but after expending all my creative energy and dedicated blocks of time, I’ll scrape in a few before the end of the competition. There’s some absolutely fantastic games in there, so I encourage people to play, rate and review.

I’ve contacted a few authors, mostly to share high fives and good luck. It’s a big comp, though, and a smidge too big for my current energy levels.

Creative Bubbles

Although it felt like I was utterly creatively spent, I have been doing a variety of mini projects. I’m feeling out where to go next, and focussing on small efforts rather than saddling up for another gargantuan investment.

I’ve been prototyping some little ideas in IF, inspired by Ryan Veeder’s Weekly Challenge. These are little bits of tech to explore implementation and ideas, mostly for Puzzle University. One of these was allowing a player to build a modular robot, build-a-bear style. I don’t know what I want to do with that yet, but just wanted to explore the space.

Puzzle University has come back to the fore, and I’ve been thinking about how to organize it spatially and narratively. I also had a project lightning-bolt itself into my brain, almost fully-formed. It’s a dark comedy game about ethics where you kill aristocrats. I could, right now, work on it and complete it in a few months but I wonder if it needs some gestating.

One thing I’ve been looking forward to all year is getting back into 3d art. I’ve been fooling around in Blender, trying to replicate this scene I see every work day when I drop my son off at daycare. Along the way there’s a little boulevard of trees where the light hits it just beautifully.

I’m improving in my Blender geometry nodes skills. I had a system that I could draw a Bezier curve and it would build the boulevard (road, gutters, gardens) to match the curve. It comes out beautifully but also unsatisfying. I might just need more things in the scene, but it feels off even though it ticks all the structural boxes.

I also started a very quick picture of a woman waiting on the side of a prom - the metaphor for the IF Comp wait for reviews - to add some art to this newsletter, but it isn’t finished yet.

Another project I’m flirting with is creating something for my family. It’s small and modular, and easy to iterate on… But initial work has been so slow that I don’t think I’ll be able to get it moving without significant effort. It might make a nice Christmas present, though.

ARGH CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!

An Attempt to Relax

The other thing I’ve been trying to do is just relax. For a number of months I eschewed any TV or movie-watching to focus on Hand Me Down. I have been enjoying Gen V and the new Rick and Morty, but I still feel the pull towards creative projects. And life has been a little busy, both in real-time and in waiting for me to pick the pieces back up again.

As a present for finishing my game, I bought myself Baldur’s Gate 3. It’s been a good experience, but I’ve either been too wrecked to play, or too conscious of not playing lest a young daughter wanders into my office to see demons, mindflayers or (from what I hear) saucy bear action. It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve played a game like BG3, so when I am playing, I’m trying to find my groove.

Amusingly I’ve never played the previous two games, but I know all the catchphrases since my D&D crew say them about a hundred times a session.

It’s also been nice to just hang out with my wife and chat without a deadline looming over me.

Breathing

I’d apologise for this particular newsletter being a lot of meandering after a year or so of decent direction. But it’s the nature of the creative process. Sometimes you breathe in, sometimes you breathe out. This is a long month of breathing out and finding my creative center again.

I’m pleased with how IF Comp has gone so far. My fears haven’t eventuated and everyone has done a great job. I’m keen to keep going in interactive fiction, but maybe I’ll just chill for a little while longer.